"Of course they answer to their names?" the Gnat remarked carelessly.
"I never knew them to do it."
"What's the use of their having names," the Gnat said, "if they wo'n't answer to them?"
"No use to them," said Alice; "but it's useful to the people that name them, I suppose. If not, why do things have names at all?"
"I ca'n't say," the Gnat replied. "Further on, in the wood down there, they've got no names--however, go on with your list...."

Tonsil A: The Official INTERCAL Character Set

Tabulated below are all the characters used in INTERCAL, excepting letters and digits, along with their names and interpretations. Also included are several characters not used in INTERCAL, which are presented for completeness and to allow for future expansion.

Table 2 (top view). INTERCAL character set.
Character  Name                        Use (if any)
.          spot                        identify 16-bit variable
:          two-spot                    identify 32-bit variable
,          tail                        identify 16-bit array
;          hybrid                      identify 32-bit array
#          mesh                        identify constant
=          half-mesh                  
'          spark                       grouper
`          backspark                  
!          wow                         equivalent to spark-spot
?          what                        unary XOR
"          rabbit-ears                 grouper
"^H.      rabbit                      equivalent to ears-spot
|          spike                      
%          double-oh-seven             percentage qualifier
-          worm                        used with angles
<          angle                       used with worms
>          right angle                
(          wax                         precedes line label
)          wane                        follows line label
[          U turn                     
]          U turn back                
{          embrace                    
}          bracelet                   
*          splat                       flags invalid statements (I72)
&          ampersand *                 unary AND
V          V (or book)                 unary OR
V^H-      bookworm                    unary XOR (I72)
$          big money                   binary interleave
¢          change                      binary interleave
~          sqiggle                     binary select
_          flat worm                  
¯          overline                    indicates "times 1000"
+          intersection                separates list items
/          slat                       
\          backslat                   
@          whirlpool                   unary BUT
¬          hookworm                   
^          shark (or simply sharkfin)  unary XOR (additive)
#^H*^H[]  blotch                     

(I72) = Used in INTERCAL 72 only.

* Got any better ideas?